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You’re only as supported as the friends you keep

Having great friends, family or resources is a key to life. This seems to go without saying and yet we can still find ourselves feeling unsupported.

To me, a good friend is someone that brings you up, not down. They try to see the good when all you can see is the bad. And if you ask for a minute of self-deprecating down speak, they only let you go there only for a short while and never pile on the load.

In our sport tensions can get high; expectations can be unmet, and the kind of people we have around us can help determine our successful return the next day.

Sometimes in conversation you might ask yourself if a person said something for you or for them. Example: you say, “Oh I had a terrible round!” And the person you’re talking to says, “Oh I’ve had terrible rounds too, I think it’s better to lower your expectations!” In contrast, the other person could say, “Everybody has bad rounds don’t focus on the negative it will get better.”

In the first scenario the person is clearly thinking about their own feelings and projecting them outwards. In the second scenario the person clearly doesn’t want you to worry and is trying to be supportive.

Now I understand that we can’t always ‘positive talk the negative away’, but most of the time sharing bad stories doesn’t help anybody feel better.

My mom used to tell me that people would be friends with me based on how they felt when they were around me. If you are always being negative your friends will associate you with negative stories, and you probably won’t be their first call for support. Assuming you want to be a supportive friend the more you can bring someone up the higher on their on-call list you’ll climb.

In relation to our sport, I think the more positive and supportive we can be of one another – even if the positive is to go home and regroup – then I think we should do more of that! Plus we have trainers to help us make the plans for success in the ring our friends are supposed to be there to bring good vibes!

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